I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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