I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
