she looked like the bat from fern gully.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize