is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
