talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
