glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You know, be my cock's hype man.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
