Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize