ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
