My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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