dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
