Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
