She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
