why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
