he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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