your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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