Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
