No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
