apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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