? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
