I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
