Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
