I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize