ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize