just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
