We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
