sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
