You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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