i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
