i think my tv is drunk
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
