Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
