based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
