Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
