we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
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