Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
