your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize