I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
