I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
