ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize