Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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