i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
