since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
