He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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