this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
