no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
