We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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