But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
