it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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