I'm really into asian looking animals
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
