Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Alive.
So much puke
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
