She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
