Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
