im having a threesome with these popsicles
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
