How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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