I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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