so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize