dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I want a musical about memes.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
