she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize