Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
