That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
