I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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