I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize