You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
