I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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