Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
This is the high leading the old right now
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
