too bad you live with your parents still
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
