This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
ttyl tear gas
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
BRING THE BAGELS
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
