I want to stick my p in your. b.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
