definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
