there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Randomize
